


Dirty Talk

by Redembe



Series: The Dirty Series [2]
Category: The Sentinel (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 06:58:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18441404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redembe/pseuds/Redembe
Summary: Honestly, I hate summaries.  Some minor angst followed by the Sex Scene That Would Not End.





	Dirty Talk

**Author's Note:**

> So this was supposed to be a series of basically PWPs but it's about to grow one HUGE plot. Hold on to your hats kids, things are about to get hairy...

            “So, uh, Ellison?”  Brian Rafe’s voice pulled his attention away from the report he was typing.

            “What’s up Rafe?”  He asked, knowing full well he had a giant shit-eating grin on his face and genuinely not giving two shits about it.

            “You’re looking abnormally cheerful today.  Care to share what’s put that stupid grin on your face?  You got a new girlfriend we haven’t heard about?  Won the lottery?  Finally figured out what’s in Hairboy’s ostrich chili?  Do tell.”  Rafe rested a hip on the side of Jim’s desk and waited for Jim’s response.  He’d lost the short straw draw to find out what the hell was wrong with Ellison and he was hoping he wasn’t going to get a verbal tongue lashing for his trouble.  Half of them thought it was Blair that put that goofy grin on his face and the other half thought he’d probably finally cracked.

            “Wouldn’t _you_ like to know…?” Jim replied, leaning back lazily in his chair, giving Rafe a cocky wink.  Peripherally, he became aware that the rest of the bullpen was tacitly listening to their exchange.

            “Oh, come on,” Rafe continued, “I don’t think anyone’s seen you so… so…”  Rafe waved his coffee mug around ineffectually, searching for some word that wouldn’t sound like a backhanded compliment.

            “Happy?”  Jim supplied, having mercy.

            “Um, yeah.  Happy.”  Rafe shrugged.

            “Is there any reason a guy can’t just be happy, Rafe?  I mean, it’s a beautiful day in June.  We’re having a rare sunny day here in the wet northwest, and for once nothing is blowing up, being held hostage or getting robbed in Cascade.  Isn’t that enough to put a smile on any detective’s face?”  Perhaps having regular mind-blowing sex had addled his brains.  He could hear the words leaving his mouth but it felt as if it were some other Jim Ellison who was joking and teasing.  He honestly couldn’t remember a time when he _had_ been this happy.

            The phone on his desk rang, interrupting whatever response or further inquiry Rafe might have made.

            “Saved by the bell!”  Jim exclaimed, picking up the phone, “Ellison.”

            “Hey you.”

            Blair’s voice made his cock twitch.  His young lover had him feeling like he was 23 instead of 43 these days.

            “What’s up?”  He asked, turning his desk chair around so his back was to Rafe and the rest of his nosy co-workers.  He heard Rafe sigh and walk back to his desk.

            “Just wanted to let you know that I’m gonna be late getting in tonight.  I had to change my office hours because of a meeting with the Dean.”

            “No problem.  Thanks for letting me know.”  Jim answered.  He wished he didn’t have an audience.  Their relationship was so new they hadn’t gotten around to discussing the issue of being out or open at work so candid phone conversations were out of the question.  He felt himself wanting to use endearments like ‘babe’ and ‘stud’ and ‘lover’.  Conversations in public now felt unfinished without those little love-words.

            “Anything interesting happening at the station?” 

            Jim smiled.  Lately, it felt like both of them made excuses to call each other when they were apart.  They were acting like love-struck teenagers. 

            “Not really.  I think the guys are getting suspicious,” he whispered the last part quietly, so as not to alert the other detectives.  “They sent Rafe over to reconnoiter.” 

            “‘Reconnoiter’, Jim?”  Blair laughed at his use of the anachronistic term.  “What’s got into you man?  You’re starting to worry me a little.”

            “It’s not what’s got _into_ me, Sandburg.  It’s what’s _going_ to get into me.”  He felt his face heat at his blatant innuendo.

            “Oh man, I _so_ cannot have this conversation now.  I’ve got class in ten minutes.  You’re trying to drive me crazy.” 

            “Not as crazy as I want you,” he said, feeling a heady sort of recklessness overcome him.  Screw public decorum and decency. 

            “Jim,” Blair’s tone was a warning. 

            Jim sighed.  He wasn’t sure why Blair was reluctant to fuck him, but in the last four weeks of them being lovers he had tried everything to convince his younger partner that he was ready and Blair was still holding out.

            “Look, I gotta go.  If I don’t show up in the first ten minutes of class, the freshmen assume they can take off.”

            “Can we at least discuss it later?”  Jim asked.

            “Yeah, later man,” Blair replied.  “Love you.”

            “You too,” Jim answered.  He waited until he heard the call disconnect before hanging up the phone.

            When he turned around, everyone appeared suspiciously busy.  But at least the wattage on his smile had dimmed somewhat.  It would put off some of the probing for the rest of the day at least.  He sighed and went back to typing reports.

 

 

 

            Jim had dinner ready and the table set when Blair finally breezed through the door that evening.

            “Hey, Chief,” he greeted his lover with a kiss, which turned into a full-body hug. 

            Blair sighed happily, pressing his head against Jim’s shoulder, smelling the wonderful Jim-smell.  “Missed you today,” he said, his voice partially muffled by Jim’s body.

            “Me too,” Jim said.  “I’m starting to feel like I’m never gonna get enough of you.”

            Blair pulled back and looked up at Jim’s face.  Their eyes met and banked heat was exchanged.  As one they came together, tongues peeking out to say hello, tangling together as they kissed.

            “If we start this, we’re never gonna eat dinner,” Jim said, pulling back.

            “You’re right,” Blair said, “I’m starved!”  He moved out of Jim’s arms and into the kitchen.  “You made fettuccini alfredo?  Awesome!”

            Blair started filling a plate and Jim wondered in behind him, dishing his own food and joining his lover at the table.  They ate in companionable silence then cleared the table. 

            “Blair, can I ask you something?”  Jim said, hands busy washing their dinner plates while Blair dried with the dish towel and put everything back in its appropriate place.

            “Uh oh,” Blair said with mock seriousness, “Are we having our first ‘we need to talk’ moment?”

            “What if we are?”  Jim asked, turning towards Blair with his hands still in the soapy water.

            Blair stopped drying and looked at his lover.  Jim’s expression was serious but not angry.  “All right, man, spill.  What do you want to ask me?”

            Jim opened his mouth but the words wouldn’t come.  Instead, he felt his face heat and knew he was blushing.  He looked away from Blair, staring instead at the bubbles popping in the sink.  He could feel Blair’s patient curiosity like a living thing next to him.  After several minutes his felt Blair’s warm hand settle in the small of his back. 

            “I’m not zoning,” Jim said as reassurance. 

            “Come on, Jim.  Come sit down on the couch with me,” Blair suggested, taking his lover by the arm and pulling him away from the sink.  Jim dried his hands on the dish towel before allowing himself to be towed to the sofa.

            Blair guided him down to lay with his head in the younger man’s lap and began massaging his temples and scalp.  Jim closed his eyes and just enjoyed the relaxation that always came with Blair’s touch, especially when that touch was calculated to soothe.

            “You can ask me anything,” Blair said in what Jim had come to call his Guide-voice. 

            “I know,” he replied, but fell silent again.  Why was it so hard to ask his lover for this simple thing?  Blair had let Jim fuck him dozens of times now.  He knew he wanted it.  Hell, he woke up hard from dreaming about it more nights than not. 

            “Is it…” Blair hesitated, “Is it something I did?  Are you upset about something?”

            “No,” Jim said, “I’m not mad or upset at you.”  He reached up and touched Blair’s face tenderly.  “I’m just having a bit of trouble articulating.”

            “It’s okay, just take your time,” Blair encouraged, continuing his relaxing ministrations.

            Several minutes passed.

            “Blair,” Jim said finally. 

            Blair hmmm’ed in response.

            “Why won’t you fuck me?”

            Blair looked down at Jim, seeing sincere curiosity in his expression.  He sighed, knowing this conversation was going to happen eventually.

            “Don’t you want to?”  Jim asked hesitantly.  Somehow the thought that maybe Blair didn’t WANT to do it that way had just occurred to him.

            “Of course I want to, Jim,” Blair said.

            “But,” Jim added, sensing that wasn’t the final thought on the matter.

            “Jim, until we got together, you were a virgin with other guys.”  When Jim tried to interrupt Blair shushed him with a gentle finger over his lips.  “I know you’ve said it’s something you’ve thought about.  It may even be something you think you WANT.  But in my experience, letting someone penetrate you, especially for men, can cause all sorts of psychological drama.”

            “You mean, you’re worried that if you fuck me I might have some sort of het-panic response and… what… accuse you of perverting me?!  What about all that talk about how you dream of popping my cherry?!”  Jim asked incredulously. 

            “I do, Jim!  That’s just the point.  Dreaming about doing something is often vastly different that actually doing it,” Blair answered. 

            Jim sat up and took Blair’s hands in his.  “Blair, I’ve penetrated you countless times, I’ve become such an expert at sucking cock that I can practically make you cum on command.  I’ve licked your asshole like I was a starving man at a banquet and you think a little anal sex is gonna send me into a panic?  I think it’s highly unlikely at this point.  I mean, haven’t we both agreed that part of this whole thing is probably tied into the Sentinel stuff?  I probably couldn’t find sex with you abhorrent no matter what we decided to do.” 

            “Well, when you put it that way…” Blair’s face heated slightly.  Maybe he was being a bit overly concerned with that one specific act.

            “So, what do you say, babe?”  Jim’s playful tone put a grin on Blair’s face, which vanished in surprise at feeling his lover’s hand begin a gentle massage of his soft genitals.  “Are you gonna teach me what it’s like to have this hot, hard piece of meat I’ve been drooling over pumping in and out of me?”

            “You really want it?”  Blair managed, feeling himself start to harden in response to Jim’s ministrations.

            “Yeah,” Jim answered, leaning over and nuzzling Blair’s package, inhaling his lover’s aroused scent.  “I really want it.”  Jim’s hot breath warmed him through his sweats.

            “Then you better stop that and get your ass upstairs,” Blair said.

            Jim chuckled darkly but didn’t move from his position.  “We could do it right here.”  Without moving his head, Jim shimmied out of his own sweat pants, revealing his bare ass, sans underwear, to the living room and Blair’s hungry gaze.  He felt the younger man run his hands down his back to grip said ass.  Then jumped in surprise as his lover brought one palm down hard on his right cheek.

            “James Joseph Ellison,” Blair’s voice was rough with desire that had Jim’s dick hardening, “I am not going to fuck you on the couch for your first time.  Now get your face out of my crotch and get your beautiful ass upstairs so I can do you properly.”  With that, Blair sat up and put one hand under Jim’s chin, raising him up to have his mouth devoured in a kiss of such possession that he felt he might just cum on the spot.  But he didn’t.  Instead he found himself obeying his lover.  His body predictably responding to Blair’s words. 

            “On the bed.  On your hands and knees,” Blair said, a snap of command in his voice which produced a jolt of desire in Jim.  From the beginning, Jim had told Blair how much dirty talk turned him on.  Now every time they made love, Blair would use this knowledge to drive Jim completely out of his mind with arousal.

            Jim stripped off the rest of his clothes and got on the bed.  He watched Blair watching him from the top of the stairs.  Blair’s pupils were so dilated he could barely see any blue and the younger man was rubbing himself as he stared at Jim, as if he just couldn’t look without somehow relieving the pressure of his erection, which was very obviously tenting his sweats.

            “What about you?”  He asked, consciously arranging his body so that he was showing off for his lover.  Blair had never said as much, but Jim knew that his strength and musculature was a major turn-on for the younger man.  Especially when he was taking the more passive role in sex. 

            “We’ll get there,” Blair responded, moving to the side of the bed and placing one hand on Jim’s back. 

            Love. Admiration. Possession. Authority.  That single hand on his body communicated so much with that simple gesture.  Jim felt his cock get harder and he groaned low in his throat.

            “You really want it, don’t you?”  Blair asked, an air of wonder and excitement in his voice.  Jim took the question to be rhetorical and remained silent.  Hoping his lover would get to the main event soon.  “You’re so hot for my cock up your ass you’d beg, wouldn’t you?” 

            “Whatever you want, Blair,” Jim said, feeling the moment sweep him away.  Sometimes, after they made love, he’d have these moments of intense clarity where the things he said and did in the moment seemed like someone else.  Where he couldn’t believe he’d done that.  Said that.  BEEN that needy, horny, dirty.  Blair had done that to him.  FOR him.  He couldn’t believe how un-inhibited he’d gotten in bed.  His days of missionary position vanilla sex left him wondering how he could have even put that in the same category as what he did with Blair. 

            “Yeah, you’d beg.  I do want to fuck you, Jim, but I gotta take the edge off man.  I want to do you nice and slow.  The way you deserve for your first time and I want to see your face while I’m doing it so get over here and suck me until I cum.  Then we’ll see about that cherry.”

            This was one of those moments.  Later he would blush in the dark thinking about crawling around on the bed to reach Blair’s dick.  About how much he LIKED it.  He didn’t even bother to take Blair’s pants all the way off.  He just pulled the elastic down under his lover’s balls and swallowed his cock whole.  It took a gratifyingly short time to make Blair cum down his throat.  He’d gotten really good at sucking cock.  That was not an exaggeration.  Blair had tried to analyze it from a Sentinel perspective.  Something about knowing instinctively how to please the Guide.  He preferred to think he was just a prodigy at fellatio.  A dick-sucking savant. 

            “You can stop now,” Blair panted, pushing his face away from where he was languidly licking up the last traces of semen leaking from Blair’s half-hard penis.  “Turn around again, on your knees.  I’m gonna spend some time getting you ready.”

            At this point Jim was pretty sure he’d been born ready.  He waited on his knees, dick hard and drooling, for Blair to get the lube and take his sweats all the way off.  Then he knelt up on the bed behind Jim and put his hands on Jim’s ass. 

            “Yes,” Jim breathed, leaning back into the pressure of those hands.  Wanting to feel even more owned that he did at this moment.

            “I got you, lover,” Blair whispered, rubbing the soft skin, “I’m gonna take good care of you.  Gonna make it so good you’ll never even think of another person again.”

            Jim felt a cold, gel-covered finger stroke his hole and gasped.  Blair continued to massage the small passage with just a finger, getting it nice and wet and slick.  After a minute or two Jim was backing into the pressure, silently begging Blair to just stick it IN already.

            Finally.  FINALLY, his young lover took pity.  He felt Blair’s finger breach him gently.  All those nerve endings woke up to take notice.  Blair was going slowly.  Too slow in Jim’s opinion.  He tried to back up onto Blair’s finger, to get him to go faster, harder, give him MORE.  But Blair was having none of it.

            “Uh uh, man,” he said, removing his finger entirely, stroking Jim’s ass with his other hand, “patience Jim, we’ll get there.”  Blair chuckled softly.  This time he returned with two fingers and Jim felt the stretch this time. 

            He’d had single fingers up his ass numerous times.  His own.  Various doctors for prostate exams.  But two fingers felt decidedly different. 

            “Does it feel good, Jim?”

            “Oh yeah,” he answered, “Feels great.  More, Blair.  I can take more.”

            “Oh, I know you can.  I’m gonna give you more.  You’re gonna get a whole eight inches of more in a few minutes.  Eight hard inches stretching you.  Trust me, you’re gonna be glad I went slowly when we get to that point.”  The words were accompanied by Blair’s busy fingering.  He was scissoring his two fingers.  Gently stretching the sphincter muscles.  Jim could feel his muscles burn a little.  It didn’t feel bad exactly, just strange.  All of those nerve endings were definitely taking notice. 

            “Three fingers now,” Blair said, coming back again with the promised additional digit.  He slipped his third finger in beside the first two. 

            Jim hissed, feeling the burn distinctly now.  His muscles struggling reflexively to repel the intruders.

            “You okay?”  Blair asked, stilling his hand but not removing it.

            “Yeah, yeah.  I’m okay.  It just feels weird.  Full,” Jim answered. “It burns a bit, but feels good too.  Don’t stop.  Please don’t stop.”  Jim’s focus on his ass had made his arousal dim slightly and he knew his erection had softened a bit but he felt no less excited by the activity than he had at the beginning.  He was confident now that he was really going to like this.

            “Just breath, man.  Push against my hand.  Think about those muscles and relax.  Think about me sliding up inside you.  Think about how I look when you do me.  I’m gonna put that same look on your face.”  Jim felt Blair rotate his fingers, then felt the jolt of pleasure as his lover massaged his prostate. 

            “Fuck!”  Jim said, backing onto Blair’s hand, “God, that’s good.”

            “It gets better, Jim.  That’s it, relax for me.  My dick is a lot thicker than three fingers man.”

            “Can’t wait to feel you,” Jim panted.  “Want it so bad.”    

            “I know you do.  We’re almost there, babe.”  Blair spent a few more minutes playing with Jim’s ass and stroking his cock, encouraging it back to full hardness.  “All right, turn over for me and lift your legs up.”

            Blair felt unreasonably gratified by the speed at which Jim obeyed his request.  The older man lay on his back, hands gripping the backs of his knees as he raised his legs and spread himself open for his lover.  Blair felt his own hand gripping his cock and realized he’d gotten hard again while he prepped his lover.  Even with Jim’s spectacular blowjob he was afraid he wouldn’t last long.

            “That’s it, lover.  Now raise your butt some.  I’m gonna slide a pillow under your hips.”  Blair matched words to actions as Jim complied.  “Now, relax and breathe for me.”

            Jim hadn’t realized he was holding his breath.  He watched Blair scoot up so that he was kneeling close to his ass, his thighs snug around Jim’s hips, his dick bumping Jim’s ass as he arranged himself.  Then Blair raised Jim’s right leg so his calf rested on the other man’s left shoulder and wound his other leg around Blair’s right side.  Jim felt vulnerable and exposed like this but also excited.  He was finally going to feel his lover inside of him, possessing him.  He tried to relax and breath like Blair asked.

           “All right, lover, I’m coming in.  When you feel the burn, just breath through it, relax and let it pass.  I’ll go slow.  If you need me to stop or pull out, just say, okay?  I don’t want to hurt you, Jim,” Blair said, using his right hand to aim his cock at Jim’s loosened hole.

           “Please, I want it,” Jim said, watching Blair’s face and feeling a whole new wave of excitement as he saw just how turned on his Guide was.

           “Here I come.” 

           Blair’s dick was indeed significantly larger than his fingers had been.  Jim felt stretched so wide he was afraid for a moment that it wouldn’t fit.  He hissed but remembered to push against the pressure and after a tense couple of seconds, the head popped through his sphincter and Blair stopped, breathing hard.

           “Shit!  God!  You feel so good, lover.  So tight and hot around me.  Breath Jim, that’s it,” Blair encouraged as he waited for the initial pain to pass.

           The amount of pain surprised Jim.  He’d known it wasn’t exactly going to be painless but part of him was seriously questioning whether this had been a good idea.  Most of him was thrilled at feeling Blair inside of him, even if the pain of entry had withered his erection slightly.  He WANTED to make this good for Blair and he wanted to enjoy it too.  He felt he could get there if he could force his body to cooperate.  He concentrated on breathing, on forcing his sphincter to relax and accept his lover’s cock.  Blair waited.  Patient as always.

           They locked eyes and Blair put a hand on Jim’s chest.  “Breath with me, babe.  That’s it.  In… out… in… out…  That’s it.  I can feel you relaxing.  Can you feel it Jim?  You let me know when you’re ready, man.”

           Jim nodded, not really able to articulate what he was feeling.  The connection was profound.  He understood now what Blair was trying to say when he cautioned Jim about the effect that penetration could have on some men.  As he watched Blair’s eyes, his face, his muscles held in tense stillness as he waited for Jim to adjust.  He realized just how much he loved this man.  He realized just how vulnerable and attached he was.  It was a feeling that he hadn’t really thought about until now.  Not until he felt Blair’s cock splitting him.  Not until he felt like he didn’t know where he ended and his lover began.  GOD, was this how his girlfriends had felt?  Was this what Carolyn felt every time he had made love with her?  It was something both terrifying and liberating.  It was, Jim realized, something he’d probably never want to give up. 

          “Move,” he managed, feeling the burn recede.  Wanting to feel the rest of Blair with a desperation close to agony.

          Blair nodded, pushing forward at a snail’s pace. 

          Jim felt even more stretched as Blair’s thickness entered him.  He remembered to breath and watched Blair’s face and rode the waves of burning pain like a benediction, a blessing, an epiphany born on the back of struggle.

          “I’m in, Jim,” Blair whispered, “I’m all the way in.  Do you feel me, big guy?  Do you understand now how much I love you?  You’re mine now.  Really mine.”

          “Yeah, I understand,” Jim answered.  “You feel good.  You belong here.  Right here.  Never want you to leave.”

          “Simon might have a thing or two to say about that, man,” Blair joked, trying to take his lover’s mind off the pain, running his hands over whatever parts of Jim he could reach, playing with the older man’s half-hard dick, trying to encourage it to harden again.

          “Will you move?  I want to feel you, please,” Jim said, feeling a suspicious lump in his throat. 

          Blair started slowly, his withdrawal almost as slow as his entry had been.  As he moved Jim felt the acute burning recede, to be replaced by a steady ache that felt more like an itch that needed scratching than a distraction from his desire.

          “Yes,” he said, wanting to encourage his young partner to pick up the pace, “I want you.  It feels good.  Better than I thought it would.  God, you feel huge!”

          “Yeah?  You like it Jim?  Like getting fucked?  I knew you would, you know.  I could tell by how you love sucking my dick so much.  God, if I had known this about you…  Fuck, yeah, squeeze me again.  Just like that, lover.  So good.  So tight.  You’re mine, Jim.  You’ll never have another first.  I’ll always own this part of you.”

          Blair’s words, and his hand busy on Jim’s cock had him fully hard again, even despite the lingering ache in his ass.  He watched his lover thrusting above him.  He could see beads of sweat dripping down the younger man’s face, he could feel the effort Blair was using to hold himself back from the kind of wild thrusting that Jim would have indulged in with him.  He knew he probably wasn’t ready for that kind of no-holds-barred sex yet but he felt like he wanted it.  It was on the tip of his tongue to ask his lover to do it harder but his ass reported in that this would probably be something he’d regret tomorrow.

          “God, touch me, Jim.”

          Blair’s words broke some sort of spell.  Jim realized his hands were gripping the sheets tightly.  So tightly that he had trouble loosening his hold.  When he did he groaned out loud at how good it felt to put his hands on Blair’s sweaty chest, rubbing his muscles, feeling them move as the other man continued to fuck him.  He tweaked Blair’s nipples and took hold of the gold ring that adorned the left one, tugging it in time with his lover’s thrusting.

          “Shit, yeah.  Pull it harder,” Blair ordered.  Jim complied and watched as Blair nearly went wild.  He guessed he’d be feeling it for a couple of days anyway.  

          “That’s it, man.  Almost there.  You’re gonna make me cum, Jim.  Gonna cum in your tight, hot virgin ass.  Use those muscles, Jim, squeeze me again.  Come on.  Do it!”

          Jim felt almost insane with lust.  He wanted to feel Blair cum inside of him.  Wanted to feel his lover’s seed dripping down his legs.  Wanted to feel owned and marked and consumed.  He concentrated and squeezed Blair’s cock as hard as he could with his sphincter.  He listened as his lover grunted and let loose with a stream of expletives that made his ears burn.  Then Blair froze above him, threw his head back and crammed what felt like another inch of cock inside of him as he came.

          “Fuck.  Oh Jesus,” Blair breathed, still panting heavily.  “Come here.”  He reached for Jim, dropping his leg so he could hold him with both arms and kiss him sloppily on the mouth.  Jim felt the return of that suspicious lump in his throat and his eyes stung a bit.  He tried valiantly to get it under control.  He would NOT cry during sex.  He’d NEVER cried during sex before.  Blair was still talking in between kisses, love names and praises for Jim’s wonderful ass spilling from him like it was involuntary.  He could feel Blair softening inside him and he tightened his muscles again, wanting to keep him there longer. 

          “Let me take care of you, lover,” Blair said, his face inches from Jim’s their eyes beaming love and desire still. 

          Jim hadn’t even realized he was still hard.  It had felt so good, Blair’s cock stroking over his prostate the entire time, that he thought he’d cum with his lover.  But now he could feel his erection, completely hard again and dripping steadily onto his stomach.  He nodded, not trusting himself to speak without letting go of the emotional flood he could feel building behind his careful control.

          Blair smiled and gently unwound Jim’s legs from around his waist.  When his cock finally dislodged itself, Jim felt empty.

          “No.” He couldn’t stop the small word from escaping.  He felt empty and wanted to be filled again.

          “Shhh,” Blair soothed, returning immediately to hold him in his arms.  “You see, now,” he said, petting his lover and kissing his eyelids, his cheeks, his mouth. 

          “Yes,” Jim said in a small voice, tears leaking from his eyes, “I love you.”  Those words seemed so small and insignificant compared to the enormity of the feeling inside him.

          “I love you, too, Jim,” Blair said.  “So much.  Let me take care of you, lover.  I want to make you feel as good as you just made me feel.”

          Jim nodded.  Feeling wasted.  Feeling as if a climax on his part would be superfluous.  Extra.  Completely unnecessary in the face of the absolute joy consuming him.

          Blair slid down his body to take his still hard cock in his mouth.  He worked Jim for several long minutes, feeling the older man’s desire build until he was finally rewarded with a quiet groan and a mouth full of bitter fluid.  He swallowed and joined his lover once again on the pillows, sharing the other man’s taste as they kissed languidly in the afterglow.

          For a long while they just lay quietly together.  Jim still felt very connected to Blair and he was sure, even without asking that Blair felt the same.  He wondered idly if other people felt this way.  He knew he’d never even come close to this level of intimacy with anyone else.  Perhaps Blair was right and the intensity of their connection was due to their bond as Sentinel and Guide.  Whatever it was, he found he didn’t care.  He couldn’t imagine it would matter in the long run.  Nothing would change the way he felt.  It just was, like the sun rising or the ocean tides.  Certain.  Irrefutable.  Irrevocable.  Real.  Maybe the first real thing he’d ever had in his life.

          “We should probably shower,” Blair’s voice broke into his thoughts.  “I can’t imagine we smell too good.”

          “We smell great,” Jim said, taking a long sniff.  “Like us.  Like concentrated us.  Us undiluted.”

          “You’re babbling, Jim.”

          “I know.  I don’t care.  I think I’ve cared about way too many things in my life so far.  I think anything I ever cared about pales in comparison to how much I care about you right now.”

          “Who are you and what have you done with the real Jim Ellison?”  Blair sat up, a bright, happy smile on his face.

          Jim looked at his lover.  At his after-sex crazy hair.  His sweat-streaked chest.  His soft, delicious cock resting in it’s next of now sticky curls.  Yeah, he couldn’t care less about anything right now except how long it might take until they could enjoy a repeat performance of what they’d just done.

          “I AM the real Jim Ellison.  I think I’m more me than I’ve ever been in my entire life.”

          “That’s it, man, I think I broke you,” Blair said, amused and deeply touched by Jim’s reaction to their love-making.  He had imagined thousands of scenarios where he fucked Jim for the first time and none of them even came close to this.

          “You didn’t break me, Blair.  You fixed me.”

          And now Blair’s eyes looked suspiciously bright.  He felt his younger lover take his hand and lace their fingers together.  He watched as a quiet tear traced its way down Blair’s cheek. 

          “Let’s go take that shower, huh?”  He asked, squeezing Blair’s hand. 

          After their shared shower, they fell asleep on clean sheets, Blair’s head resting comfortably on Jim’s chest.  Just before he drifted off, Jim dimly registered that their hearts were beating in time.


End file.
